THE CHURCH OF THE HOLY CROSS 900 Alameda Belmont, California 94002-1604 (650) 591-4447 FAX (650) 508-9846 email: office@goholycross.org website: www.goholycross.org GUIDELINES WHEN PLANNING YOUR MARRIAGE Marriage may be solemnized in the Orthodox Church when at least one of the principals is of the Orthodox faith. When one of the principals is not, he or she must be of the Christian faith and have been baptized in a church professing the Trinitarian doctrine, that is by water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is not required that the individual become Orthodox; on the other hand, he or she does not become Orthodox merely by being married in the Orthodox Church. Should the individual wish to join the Church, a period of instruction will be necessary leading to Confirmation. A valid Baptism may not be repeated. However, it is expected that all those solemnizing their marriage in the Orthodox Church for the first time should be active, pledging stewards attending Divine Services, the Pre-Marital Counseling sessions, and the Studies in the Faith course, "A Survey of the Orthodox Church" that is offered twice a year. If these requisites are not met, the clergy reserve the right to postpone the Sacrament until such time as they are fulfilled. Note: The time and dates for the pre-marital sessions and the study classes will be scheduled and posted in the Sunday Bulletin and the Church Website. ----------------------------------- SCHEDULING The date and time for the Sacrament should be arranged with one of the Priests as far in advance as possible. The latest a Sacrament may be scheduled is at 4PM. An initial meeting with both principals will be arranged with one of the priests to confirm the date and discuss the Sacrament once all paper work has been submitted. No Sacrament will be confirmed until this time. THE SPONSOR The Greek word for the Sponsor in Marriage is "paranymphos" and is both masculine and feminine. In other words, the Sponsor, the person whose functions it is in the ceremony to exchange the rings and/or the crowns, may be a man or a woman. The Sponsor must, however, be of the Orthodox faith, free of any impediment as regards Church law, and a practicing member of the Church. For example, a married person not married in the Orthodox Church would be ineligible. Other members of the bridal party are not required to be of the Orthodox faith. STEWARDSHIP: FOR THE BRIDE AND THE BRIDEGROOM: The marriage normally takes place in the bride's Church, unless she is not Orthodox. She (or her fiancé) must be a steward of the Church of the Holy Cross. If she (or her fiancé) has not been an active steward through participation in Divine Services and/or offering her time, talent, and treasury to the Church for at least one year prior to the wedding, attendance at Divine Services is mandatory and a minimum pledge commitment is required equivalent to the average yearly Stewardship pledge, on the order of $600. FOR THE SPONSOR: The "paranymphos", whether man or woman, if not an active, pledging steward of Holy Cross, will be required to fulfill the minimum Stewardship commitment i.e., participation in Divine Services, participation in the "Study Class," and a pledge commitment of the average Stewardship pledge. If a member of another Parish, he or she must request the Priest of that Parish to forward a letter to Holy Cross attesting that he or she is an active steward in good standing and is free of any canonical impediment to act as Sponsor. REQUIRED FOR THE CEREMONY: * Baptismal certificates -should be brought to the first meeting with the priest * Civil Marriage License (to be given to the Priest at the rehearsal) * The wedding bands * The marriage crowns, or "stephana" * Two white candles 18"-24" in length MUSIC The Church's organist should be contacted directly and early in the planning (Ms. Anita Mottola, 650-728-5360). No secular music or other instruments are permitted. The organist may suggest alternatives from traditional and classical literature. FLORAL DECORATIONS The chancel area of Holy Cross is very colorful; flowers are limited to two large arrangements on stands at either side of the icon screen. Pew arrangements or bows may be used provided they are attached in a way that does not mar the wood and are removed after the ceremony (they must be removed following the Sacrament). For reasons of safety, a white runner down the center aisle may not be used. PHOTOGRAPHS Flash pictures, before the beginning and at the conclusion of the service may be taken. Otherwise, pictures taking during the service are NOT permitted, except by a professional photographer, who will use available light, not flash, and may position himself in the choir loft. Group photographs may be taken with flash after the ceremony for a period not to exceed 15 minutes. Videotaping may be permitted by prior consent of the Priest. Only one camera may be used, positioned in the choir loft, using available light. A second un-manned camera may be placed on the solea with the guidance of the priest. Both photographer and video operator must remain in one position throughout the service. WEDDING PROGRAM If you are providing a program on the Sacrament of marriage, the "Rite of Marriage in the Orthodox Church" text is recommended. It may found on our website or may be sent to you via email. CHURCH ETIQUETTE Please remember that the Church is first and foremost a house of worship. It is therefore requested that there be no gum chewing, loud talking, clapping, or other inappropriate behavior that interferes with the prayers and worship of others. Please note: For reasons of safety, rice and birdseed, etc. may NOT be thrown at the bridal pair. If you have any questions, please call Father Peter or Father Christopher at (650) 591-4447. x+x+x+x+x The Rite of Marriage in the Orthodox Church The Sacrament of Marriage in the Orthodox Church sanctifies the union of a man and a woman who are brought into a communion of love for mutual companionship and fulfillment. This blessed union is not expressed through vows, but through a shared and committed relationship with the Risen Christ. Therefore, the couple, the clergy, and the laity pray that this Christian marriage be sanctified and preserved by God in the image of Christ's perfect union to the Church. The theology of this sacrament is beautifully illustrated in a medallion from a Byzantine marriage belt dating back to the sixth century. Christ stands between the bride and groom, on this medallion, joining their hands in marriage, as they gaze fondly at each other. Above their heads are two small crosses with the inscription: "From God, concord, grace, and health." This medallion illustrates that the Sacrament of Marriage is sealed by the Lord with a love that ultimately comes from His splendor. The Orthodox Church has for centuries celebrated the Rite of Marriage very much like we witness today. Time has honored and preserved this service that is sanctified by Christ in the New Testament, yet finds its roots in the Old Testament. Thus, every act that we witness in the mystery of marriage is rich in symbolism and meaning. The Marriage Rite of the Orthodox Church consists of two independent and self-contained rites which have been linked and celebrated together since the tenth century. The rites reflect the two-stage process of marriage: the Betrothal and the Crowning ceremonies. The Betrothal The service of betrothal precedes the service of crowning. The theme of this service is faithfulness which is expressed in the symbolism of the rings. The exchange of rings is understood not simply as a pledge of mutual faithfulness, but as a sign of God's pledge to man. Through the rings, as illustrated throughout the Old and New Testaments, God Himself pledges His blessing, support, and promise to grant them a new integrated and wholesome life. It is also significant to note that the ring is worn on the right hand since our Biblical tradition suggests that it is the right hand of God that blesses; it is to the right hand of the Father that Christ ascended; it is to the right that those who inherit the Kingdom of God will go. This service is comprised of three main components: petitions, prayers and the exchange of rings. The service is initiated by the priest(s) chanting the litany which includes petitions for the bridal couple. Two short prayers are then read that associate marriage with the saving work of Christ, who restores the unity between God and man. At the conclusion of these prayers, the celebrant blesses two gold rings, then taking the groom's ring touches his forehead, saying "The Servant of God is betrothed to the Handmaiden of God [as he touches her forehead] in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." The priest then betroths the bride to the groom in a like manner. While a final prayer is being read by the celebrant, the Koumbara (sponsor) interchanges the couple's rings three times as an expression and witness of the two lives being entwined into one. The Service of the Crowning The Service of Crowning is the wedding proper. It begins with the chanting of Psalm 128 and comprised of five major elements: 1) the prayers; 2) the crowning; 3) the Scripture readings; 4) the Lord's Prayer and the common cup and; 5) the Dance of Isaiah. The Sacrament of Crowning is initiated by the chief celebrant lifting the Holy Gospel and invoking the Holy Trinity, "Blessed is the Kingdom of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit . . . " The Prayers After the petitions of the Litany are chanted by the clergy to the response, "Kyrie Eleision" or "Lord have mercy", three prayers are read. The many biblical personalities and episodes alluded to in the prayers affirm the truth that God remains faithful to His people in spite of all historical vicissitudes and human sins, as long as the couple has faith in God. The prayers ask God to place this bride and this groom into the company of these holy couples and to "bless them . . . preserve them . . . and remember them." In the third prayer, the right hands of the bride and groom are joined as the priest reads: "Join together this your servant, and your handmaid . . . in oneness of mind." The Crowning The celebrant takes the crowns, blesses them over the Gospel, signs the couple three times with the Liturgical formula: "the Servant of God [groom's name] is crowned for the Handmaiden of God [bride's name] in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" and then crowns them chanting "Lord our God, crown them with glory and honor." The koumbara then exchanges the crowns three times. The crowns remain on the heads of the couple until the close of the service. The crowns that are placed on their heads remind the couple of the condition that makes their marriage a Christian marriage. This condition is the acceptance of the Gospel of Christ, the bearing of His cross in order to participate in His victory, and the entry into His Kingdom in order to share in eternal life. They are crowned together with the martyrs and saints as champions of the faith by Christ Himself. The Scripture Readings The writings of both Saint Paul to the Ephesians 5:20-33 and Saint John the Evangelist 2:1-12 are the two most revealing sections of the New Testament relative to the Sacrament of marriage. The first reading relates marriage to the Mystery of Christ and the Church, while the second details the presence of Jesus at the marriage in Cana of Galilee. These readings reveal that the couples relationship should be predicated on sacrifice and love as marriage has been sanctified by Christ. The Lord's Prayer & the Common Cup Together with the Scripture readings, the reciting of the Lord's Prayer and the partaking of a common cup remind us that the marriage service was conceived as a Eucharistic liturgy. The communion hymn, "From the cup of salvation will I partake; And upon the Name of the Lord will I call." further emphasize the services' Eucharistic origins. The red wine that is now shared instead of the Eucharist, symbolizes the cup of life that the husband and wife will drink: bitterness with sweetness, disappointment with happiness, and tribulation with joy. The Dance of Isaiah In this procession the priest, holding the Gospel, leads the bride and groom around the table three times. The couple is accompanied by their Koumbari (sponsors) who will walk with them throughout the joys and sorrows of life. This liturgical action is significant as it initiates their steps together as husband and wife, always following the teachings of Christ. This present ritual is abbreviated from an older and more elaborate practice of the priest leading the couple to their home. The hymns chanted also express the meaning and the inherent beauty of this procession. The troparia summarize the entire Biblical content of the Christian marriage, that is, to be a witness to the coming of the Kingdom of God, inaugurated by the birth of the Son of God from a Virgin. The hymnography inspires the couple to walk in the way of righteousness and to keep Christ at the center of their relationship throughout their lives. Following the Dance of Isaiah the crowns are removed by the priest who says prays: "Receive their crowns in Your Kingdom unsoiled and undefiled and preserve them without offense to the ages of ages." The Sacrament of Matrimony then concludes with this final prayer for the newly married couple : May the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, the All-Holy, Consubstantial, and Life-creating Trinity, the One Godhead and Kingdom; bless you and grant you long life, well-favored children, progress in life and in faith; enrich you with all the good things of the earth, and make you worthy to enjoy the promised blessings; through the intercessions of the holy Theotokos and of all the Saints. Amen.